Success is like a flower that you need to grow in order to reap. Before you grow success, it needs to be watered everyday. The flower may not even appear on the garden patch at first.The garden patch is a muddy and empty space. However, if you water it religiously and allow the sunlight to warm it everyday, then the flower could one day pop out. At first, success could be staring at you in the form of a drawing board – faceless and vague. When something is yet to materialize, it would be like a dream at first – a hopeless case or a fragile beam of hope. However, making success bloom from the empty garden patch is possible with the proper
mindset. But why can’t everyone achieve success if it’s “all in the mind”?
Because the mind is so powerful that it finds a reason for everything – including failure. When people fail, their minds rationalize the events that took place. When this rationalization occurs, people sink into deeper regrets. They push the idea of success away, looking back and seeing only a muddy and empty garden patch. Such ideas, solidified in memories and thought processes are the very paradigms that prevent people from being successful. Success is all in the mind. But so is failure.
How does your paradigm keep you from being successful?
When people fail, they magnify the external locus of control, or the attribution of events to forces beyond their control. Definitely, you would feel small and down when you realize that you have no control over your own fate, your destiny, and your success. What are the odds that such a small human being has against forces of the world that are bigger than him? If you think this way, then you are letting the external locus of control take over. This is one paradigm that can keep you from controlling your future.
You have been used to the usual: the comfort zone. When your comfort zone is always “getting what you want,” then failure could be too much to handle. This rigid kind of thinking would never allow anyone to grow. A person who is afraid to fail or to be challenged will not grow. Being scared for risks and change is a dangerous paradigm in the road to success. A person who is afraid of change and risks would choose the smoother course when he becomes confronted with a crossroad that has a smooth course on one side and a rough road on the other. The rough road could have been the road to success.
Self pity. Self pity would only lead you to a never-ending nightmare. Indulging in a self-defeating paradigm will definitely be your ultimate defeat. No one in this entire world can sink the ship in which you and you alone are the captain except you. Feeling sorry for your failure can lead you in the wrong idea that you really do not have what it takes. It is alright to feel frustrated. Failure can still hurt, and you are a feeling and thinking human being. However, tomorrow is a new day to take a shovel and start replanting those roses.
One of the most common paradigms that defeat ideas of success is comparison with others. Actually, not just success but also self-worth, confidence, and self-esteem. This is largely due to the kind of society today that likes to compare one person with another. Inspiration is great because you can be reinforced positively. You look at successful businessmen in Forbes and you light up. But if you look at social media, newspapers, and the television to compare your situation with the most successful people on earth, then this is not a good habit. Never compare your struggles with the struggles of others. You have your own battle to fight. The likes of Oprah, Will Smith, and Bill Gates had bitter pills to swallow. They fought their own battles. You fight your own. The first thing you have to defeat is the paradigm that prevents you from being successful.
If success was food, then it would be ramen. Not instant noodles. You need to grind and put extra effort to the flavor that you want to savor in the end. Your mindset prevents you from being successful because you magnify the external locus of control, fear change and risks, indulge in self pity, and compare your failure with others’ success. Defeating the mindset that brings you to your knees is the greatest thing to conquer if you want to be your own ruler.
How to shift your paradigm to be successful
The mind produces the paradigm. Paradigm defines the thought process. The thought process is how you think. Linking all of these together, the mind is the chamber of the paradigm and thought process that you use.
The paradigm shift happens in the mind; however, you also need to make human agency work. Simply wishing for success is not enough. The Universe is also waiting for you to take action. Your mind and your human agency are the dynamic duo when it comes to a paradigm shift. This is the combination of theory and practice. Paradigm shift can be done, tangible and intangible. Tangibly, these are the things that you can actually do. Meaning, you take action. Intangibly, this is where you rewire the mind.
Take the wheel. Just as self-defeating is attributed to the external locus of control, success can be attributed to the internal locus of control. This is the thinking that you have control over yourself, goals, and future. Rewiring your reasoning is crucial. Think back: why did you not get the job that you were applying for? With the magnification of the external locus of control, you would reason out that others were more qualified than you were. You would also think that the employer might have been looking for qualifications that you were not able to meet. While both reasons can be true, the proper mind setting to keep intact is: “how did I prepare for the job application?” “what can I do next time to bag the position that I want?”
Do you see the difference? External locus of control drags you to the “what if’s” and the “could have been.” Internal locus of control tells you to move forward because you can make it better.